The Do's and Don'ts of Falling in Love at College

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All of you reading this, 'Kehte hain ki Mehndi mein apne boyfriend ka naam chhupana chahiye... Agar ismein dhoondh liya, toh woh janam-janam ka rishta hota hai.' Shanaya from Student of the Year might surely have brought back some memories for you. Every love story is incomplete in its own way, and it's good that it is because you only put in effort when you desire betterment and don't want to settle.

But have you ever thought about how challenging dating during college years can be? No? Then gather Lady Macbeth and Macbeth within yourselves and indulge in the deliciously baked love know-how at a glance.

How Do You Know It's Love?

Love, a four-letter word, is often mocked for its apparent role in disrupting someone's life. It's commonly advised to steer clear of love, as it is deemed worthless. But WAIT! Have you ever heard phrases like, 'After going to college, you’re free to find a girlfriend!' 'Arrey, she wasn’t your type at all,' or 'Maybe he didn’t love you, and it's okay to not be okay'?

Heer-Ranja, Laila-Majnu, and Sohni-Mahiwal all found love in different forms and might have easily found ways to meet their beloveds—for love, in their case, came easily in disguise. But what about college students? Believe us, it’s not at all permissible to meet your budding love during a class lecture (though you can always bunk your classes!). For college students, love becomes quite a task. So, the question arises—WHAT IS LOVE?

In English, love literally means to show affection toward something in a positive manner. This affection may or may not be reciprocated, but that doesn’t diminish its value—after all, you can love a flower and never expect anything in return! But before diving deeper, let's first understand some important and commonly misunderstood terms that are often equated with love and require a deeper effort to differentiate.

i) Infatuation

Infatuation is often considered the first step toward being in love. It involves an intense but fleeting love, adoration, or interest in someone or something. Infatuation can also describe a passionate or compulsive focus on a task or objective. Let’s explore this through some examples:

• Developing romantic feelings for someone you don’t really know
• Playing a singer’s song on repeat all day
• Being unwisely fixated on something

So, the next time you find yourself feeling a connection with someone new in college, recognize that it might just be infatuation.

ii) Attraction

Attraction is the feeling of intimacy, curiosity, or desire you experience for someone. While 'attraction' is often associated with sexual or romantic contexts, it can manifest in many other forms as well.

Attraction can appear in various ways. For instance, you might find yourself drawn to someone because of their popularity, only to later realize that while you love opera, they have a deep affection for the library!

Here is attraction exemplified:
Some people may find certain features of a person attractive, while others might find them repellent. Thus, attraction can be seen as the culmination of various types of appeal. For example, someone might find a soccer player physically attractive but dislike their mentality.

How to Know It Is Love:

• Feeling Secure: You experience a strong sense of security and safety with your partner.
• Feeling connected: There is a deep trust and vulnerability between you, creating a strong emotional connection.
• Feeling Appreciated: Both of you value and respect each other’s uniqueness, viewpoints, and emotions.
• Feeling Encouraged: Your partner consistently provides encouragement and support.
• Excitement: Your daily routine feels more intriguing, accompanied by a rush of energy and excitement.
• Attachment: You have a profound sense of attachment to your partner.
• Making Time for Each Other: You prioritize your partner and give them your full attention, even if it means adjusting your schedule.

Test Your Love !

Love is not easy; it’s not always about chirpy birds and blooming flowers, especially during the transformative years of college. Love can be challenging, at times indifferent, submissive, or even toxic. Yet, it can also be beautiful, enthralling, and mesmerizing. Loving someone and being loved are two distinct yet deeply surreal experiences. IDYLL is here to help your love story flourish.

IDYLL is the dating app your college years have been waiting for! Unlike other apps, IDYLL filters students based on shared interests, making it possible for a Delhi University student to find love with someone from Jawaharlal Nehru University. To ease your search for meaningful connections, find your way to IDYLL right here.

Absorb Observation!

“To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love”
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

The observations you make while loving someone or while being loved are crucial for understanding the dynamics of your relationship. To test your love, consider the following parameters:

1. Distance Matters the Least: If you can't stay away from your partner, it might indicate that true love is still distant.
2. Positive Transformation: Genuine love leads to positive personal growth and transformation.
3. Love Is Not Compulsive: True love doesn’t involve imposing control or compulsion on your partner.
4. No Judgments: Your partner becomes an integral part of yourself, making it impossible to judge them as you wouldn’t judge yourself.
5. Respect Is in the Air: Respect is fundamental in love; you will cherish and respect your partner in all circumstances.

So, how does your score measure up?

Are college years suitable?

Talking about love in a generalized manner is more or less easy, but for people whose presence is found in the geographical premises of colleges, it becomes very DIFFICULT if not handled with care.

College life is often considered the most golden part of your life and thus it becomes important to choose wisely when in college whom to love, as love can be just like fire; if not handled with care, it can burn in your memories for an entire lifetime. To make you understand exactly how to understand what to do, we have brought to you some basic advice:

1) Never Rush: Never choose a partner only out of rush; if they love you in reality, they will never run away.
2) Do Not Misuse Freedom : The love of your life should never be a result of the misuse of freedom you have just got post stepping into the college.
3) Try Analyzing Past Record. The hormonal changes within you might lead a hurry-decision being made and thus its important for you to understand how the person has been all around.
4) The Parameters Should Always Be Taken Care Off. The pointers discussed above are not very subjective and generalized so a person hitting all these is surely a person to be allowed into your life, if not for love, at least for friendship.
5) More Than To Love, Its Important To Be LOVED. At times, its okay if you don't feel for someone and ideally, a relationship should be more of a  companionship and thus, in your changing college years, its important to be loved more than to be loved.
6) Truth Should Always Prevail. It is the easiest task during college years to love someone based on their pretentious self, but loving someone for their truest identities is more than important.
7) Fight And Resolve, Don't Ignore. The most important love advice for all of the college students out there is that any misunderstanding can be resolved with proper communication; don't just let go.
8) Block-Unblock, Why Social Media? Social media is the biggest foe any college student can come across, so don't prejudge on the basis of what social media talks about them.
9)  Distance Does Not Matter. For any relationship to grow, it is important for a person to just not love for the proximity, but love them even on them being distant.
10) It's Okay To Not Love Always. At times proposals might strike you, but it is okay not to love anyone and reply with a no!

IDYLL Did Not Reach You Yet?!

IIDYLL stands out for its creativity and unique approach, thanks to its founder's vision. Unlike other dating apps, IDYLL is specifically designed with college students in mind. Frequent updates and a focus on user comfort make IDYLL a beloved choice. So, what are you waiting for?

Conclusion

College life is not just about beauty; it's about experiencing the sublime. It’s meant to make your heart race with excitement and growth, not just beat faster. While Shayaris, poems, and stories might suggest that breaking up is always wrong, sometimes ending a relationship is the right choice. Peer pressure should not influence your decisions—whether to stay with someone or move on should be entirely up to you.

So, when you find yourself in college and think about loving someone with all your heart, remember: it’s okay if the relationship isn’t perfect. Love is about growing and learning together, not about achieving perfection or teaching one another.

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